The Split-P's

The following funny was blatantly stolen from here. I couldn't help it - I had to change it from a Baptist joke to a Presby joke in honor of the split-P's:

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, are you religious or atheist?" He said, "Religious." I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?" He said, "Christian." I said, "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" He said, "Protestant." I said, Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Presbyterian? He said, "Presbyterian!" I said, "Wow! Me too! Are you Presbyterian Church of God or Presbyterian Church of the Lord? He said, Presbyterian Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are you Original Presbyterian Church of God or are you Reformed Presbyterian Church of God?" He said, "Reformed Presbyterian Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are you Reformed Presbyterian Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Presbyterian Church of God, Reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed Presbyterian Church of God, Reformation of 1915!"

I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.